Some things in life are just plain hard. But here’s what we often forget: everything has its hard. You just have to decide which kind you’re willing to live with.
Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard.
Exercise is hard. Living with aches and pains is hard.
Being disciplined is hard. Living with regret is hard.
Choose your hard.
It’s a grown-up truth, but it’s one that shows up even in the small, everyday moments of parenting—especially when you have a preschooler.
The Parent Version
After a full day of work and errands and noise, you finally get a quiet moment. You just want to check your phone, sit down, breathe. But your child wants to show you their tower or hear a bedtime story—for the fourth time.
Putting the phone away and being present is hard.
But realizing years later that your teenager doesn’t talk to you because they never felt that connection?
That’s hard too.
Choose your hard.
Waking up early to pack a proper lunch is hard.
Dealing with a child who keep’s falling sick from not having a strong immunity is hard.
Choose your hard.
Staying consistent with screen time rules is hard.
Managing tantrums and short attention spans because of too much screen time is hard.
Choose your hard.
Being patient while your child takes forever to wear their shoes is hard.
Doing everything for them and realizing they’ve stopped trying is hard.
Choose your hard.
Spending time talking and explaining things to your child is hard.
Having a child who only listens when you shout is hard.
Choose your hard.
Saying “no” when they really want that toy is hard.
Raising a child who always expects to get their way is hard.
Choose your hard.
You’re already doing hard things. The question is—are they the ones that matter?
The Kid Version
Of course, our children can’t fully grasp this idea yet. But we can help them feel it. We don’t need lectures—we just need little reminders.
“Keeping your cupboard clean is hard.
But not being able to find your favorite t-shirt when you want it? That’s hard too.”
“Finishing your puzzle before moving on is hard.
But missing pieces and not being able to complete it later? Also hard.”
Brushing your teeth every night is hard.
Going to the dentist with a sore tooth is hard.
Choose your hard.
Saying sorry when you make a mistake is hard.
Losing a friend because you didn’t say sorry is hard.
Choose your hard.
Eating your vegetables is hard.
Feeling too tired to play because your body doesn’t get good food is hard.
Choose your hard.
Taking turns with a toy is hard.
No one wanting to play with you because you don’t share is hard.
Choose your hard.
Small things, said kindly and often, help them connect action to outcome.
They may not say it in words, but over time, they’ll start to learn:
Life has consequences. You get to choose which ones you want to live with.
No one gets a shortcut through the hard parts. But we do get to decide which hard we’ll take on—today, and every day.
And little by little, we can help our children do the same.
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